


My Past, Present, and Future

by Lexielle



Series: Resonance [4]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Bottom Lee Taeyong, Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, During Canon, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun is Whipped, Lee Taeyong is Whipped, M/M, Top Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:47:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27868637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lexielle/pseuds/Lexielle
Summary: A summary of how Jaehyun and Taeyong's love came to be.*timelines might be messed up so please pardon me. Just ignore it haha :)
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong
Series: Resonance [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1978732
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	1. Past to Present

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't know when, where, or how it started. All I know is I love Jung Jaehyun. So much, it hurts.
> 
> It started the moment I met him. The moment we were introduced to each other. The moment I moved into a room with him. From then on, I knew. I knew I love him. Since then, I realized I love Lee Taeyong. So much. It hurts.

_(Taeyong's POV)_

There he is on the other side of our practice room. Across my sight. The gorgeous man that he is.

I didn't know when, where, or how it started. All I know is I love Jung Jaehyun. So much, it hurts.

Did it begin when we were still SM Rookies? Or was it when we debuted? When we became room mates?

I couldn't recall anymore. I am so overwhelmed by my feelings for him, my head just goes blank when I think about it, it hurts. Just looking at him.. just thinking about Jaehyun hurts. So much.

Was it that day when he came up to me and cried?

Maybe it was. He was so vulnerable. So fragile.

We had a heart to heart talk that day, him opening up to me, being room mates and all.

_"Hyung, what will happen to us?"_

_"We'll be alright, Jaehyun. I promise."_

_"I'm scared, hyung..."_

_"I'm just here."_

_"I'm sorry I did that to you..."_

_"It's okay. Don't worry about it anymore."_

Yeah. Maybe it was that day. 

I just stared at him and my stomach churned from I don't know what.

My head was spinning. There were stars all over him.

The chills I get when he smiles and shows those dimples.

I hate myself. Hated myself for liking my _dongsaeng_.

I told myself it ain't right.

I told myself many times to not fall. But I fell... and I fell hard.

I cursed at myself for faling in love with Jaehyun.

But I couldn't help it.

Especially when he was just in front of me, doing the things he does to me.

Him being extra caring to me.

Yeah. Maybe it was that day.

And maybe it will be just okay to love him from afar like this.

After all, there are some pertinent matters I need to focus on more. 

I have too many people and things to attend to, and I'm thankful for that.

For it distracts me from Jaehyun and my feelings for him.

So, I'll just keep Jaehyun aside. For now.

* * *

_(Jaehyun's POV)_

There he is watching me from the other side of the room. The beautiful man that he is.

It started the moment I met him. The moment we were introduced to each other. The moment I moved into a room with him. From then on, I knew. I knew I love him. Since then, I realized I love Lee Taeyong. So much. It hurts.

We were still rookies, chosen to debut.

There are times that I can't recall... but I can never forget. 

This overwhelming feeling I have for him often makes my head go blank. When I think of him, of my feelings for him it hurts. Just looking at him brings me pain. So much pain.

I had the chance to be closer to him. 

I came up to him to see if he feels the same.

He looks at me and thinks I'm fragile. I'm vulnerable.

We had a heart to heart talk that day. I opened up to him a lot of things.

_"Hyung, what will happen to us?"_

_"We'll be alright, Jaehyun. I promise."_

_"I'm scared, hyung..."_

_"I'm just here."_

_"I'm sorry I did that to you..."_

_"It's okay. Don't worry about it anymore."_

But I wasn't any different from the rest. For him, I am just a younger brother.

Yes, it was that day. When I confirmed my feelings for him. 

My stomach did things to me when I looked at him. When I touched his hand.

My head spun. He was a star too far to reach.

There were shivers all over me when he smiled.

I hate myself. I hated myself for loving _hyung_.

I keep telling myself it ain't right.

I told myself many times not to love him. But I did. And I fell hard.

I cursed at myself for falling in love with Lee Taeyong.

But I just couldn't hold back anymore.

Especially when he's just beside me, doing the things he does to me.

Taking care of me. Protecting me.

Yeah. It was that day.

And maybe it will just be okay to love him secretly like this.

Besides, I have the group to think of. Him to think of. He has a lot on his shoulders.

I have to focus on a lot of things. Which I am thankful for.

It distracts me from thinking of him. My Taeyong.

So, I'll just keep Lee Taeyong aside. For now.


	2. I.O.U

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On my warm shoulder  
> The night when the first snow falls like spring rain.  
> Thank you a lot, now it's my turn  
> You make my wishes come true  
> Feels like Christmas every time I'm with you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He has imagined that he would confess his love when the first winter snow falls. Taeyong has pictured in his head that as soon as that first beautiful white flake drops, he would tell Jaehyun he loves him. 
> 
> Will that ever become a reality? 

Winter.

The cold breeze hitting his skin that day just proved to Taeyong autumn just said goodbye.

_It should have taken this damn feeling with it._ Taeyong thought.

It was too cold, but not like how his heart is colder because of his love for Jaehyun, which he has been keeping a secret for more than what seems like forever.

It was the first day of Winter, but no snow has dropped yet.

He has imagined that he would confess his love when the first winter snow falls. Taeyong has pictured in his head that as soon as that first beautiful white flake drops, he would tell Jaehyun he loves him. 

_Will that ever become a reality?_

He had asked himself again today, looking out the window after a full day of practice for their upcoming Limitless comeback, which would happen as soon as the new year meets the year that was saying goodbye. He was lying on the floor (the other members were too), full of sweat, gazing out the window at the Seoul night sky, wondering if it would ever happen in this lifetime.

Taeyong promised himself not to think about Jaehyun and his feelings for him too much, but he always breaks this promise for he could never get the younger off his mind. Not even once. Not even for a second.

He was too engrossed in his thoughts, he didn’t notice the also sweaty figure lying beside him. Jaehyun had his arms over his head, exhausted from what seems to be a tiring yet productive day of dance practice. The younger one’s head was tilted to his side, eyes locked at the beautiful man beside him.

“ _Hyung_ , what are you looking at?” Jaehyun asked, following the direction of Taeyong’s gaze. “Is there going to be a meteor shower tonight? Or is it a full moon?”

Taeyong couldn’t hear Jaehyun. For some reason, something tells him that it will snow tonight. But why was he waiting for it? Why the hell was he anticipating it? Christmas would be in a couple of weeks, and it would be great if he could spend it with Jaehyun this year... as a couple. Random thoughts keep playing on his head as he stares outside, and Jaehyun was on all of those thoughts.

“ _Hyung_! Earth to Lee Taeyong! Hello…”

Taeyong thought he had heard Jaehyun’s familiar sweet voice and turned to his side where it was coming from.

“Oh! Sorry, Jae. What was that?”

“I asked you why are you staring outside? What are you thinking, _hyung_? A penny for your thoughts?"

“Nothing.” Taeyong averted the younger one’s eyes, before he could even get the urge to come closer to him and make their lips touch. “I just find tonight beautiful.”

“And cold, _hyung_. Even though the heater in this room’s all turned up.” Jaehyun rubbed both his arms before hugging himself.

Taeyong is so damn close to pulling Jaehyun close to protect him from the cold.

“Hey, Jae. Yongie.” Johnny called them and they both turned their heads. “Let’s go. We’re famished.”

“Be there in a sec.” Taeyong said as he was trying to lift himself off of the floor, only to be surprised by Jaehyun’s hand that was reaching out to him to hoist him up.

He took Jaehyun’s hand and the younger one pulled him so he could get up, only Jaehyun’s pull was too strong, their bodies almost crashed with each other. Their faces were just inches away, Taeyong felt there was a string of heat running from his neck to his ear.

“ _Hyung_ , you’re red all over, especially your cheeks.” Jaehyun smiled at him, dimples on both cheeks showing. "Are you blushing?"

“Huh? What? No, I’m not.” Taeyong pushed himself away, lying about the crimson color his face was projecting now.

“Dude…” They can hear Mark’s voice all over the room while he was pulling Johnny's shirt. "They’re flirting.” Mark was obviously pointing to the two of them, making everyone look his way, and following the direction of his fingers.

“ _Ya!_ Are you?” Doyoung exclaimed.

“Of course not!” Taeyong yelped while Jaehyun had a smirk plastered on his lips. “Mark Lee, what are you saying?!”

“ _Hyung_! You were both looking into each other’s eyes and…”

“Snow!” Donghyuck shouted, running towards the window, placing his face in between his hands on the window to better see the snowflakes outside. “It’s snowing!”

Taeyong turned and saw the little white flakes that were falling outside the window. 

So it did. He was right after all.

Snow has now fallen. So did he. Again. 

His members were one by one getting out the door.

"What are we going to eat tonight?" Yuta asked. "I'm craving for sushi."

" _Hyung_ , not again!" Donghyuck uttered with disgust in his voice. Of course, their _maknae_ was just kidding. "Not sushi again. I think i'm going to puke now." The youngest gesturing that he was going to barf.

"Yo! Not Yuta _hyung's_ sushi..." Winwin said." You better run, or else..."

"Ya! Lee Donghyuck! What did you say? Come back here!" Yuta was sprinting towards Donghyuck after the latter targeted the older's most favorite food in the world.

Taeyong made sure that he and Jaehyun were the last ones to go out, with the younger turning off all the lights, except for the cute little sparkly Christmas lights decorating the windows. Taeyong was at the corner behind the door, waiting for him, watching Jaehyun with loving eyes, feeling stupid for suppressing all the emotions he has for him inside, he felt he's going to choke from all of it.

"Let's go, _hyung_." Jaehyun said as he switched off the last light before taking the few steps towards the door. As Jaehyun turned the last light off, something took over Taeyong, he pulled the younger to the dark corner where he was. He pushed Jaehyun against the wall and the next thing he knew, his lips were crashing onto Jaehyun's pink ones. Taeyong was kissing the younger male, hard. He was tugging Jaehyun's hand, while savoring the taste of the taller one's lips. Oh how good Jaehyun's lips taste. Sweet. Wet. Minty. Maybe from the mint candy he was nibbling earlier. Taeyong was too into it. So into him. And then it dawned on him, what he just did. Taeyong immediately pulled away, and he saw Jaehyun's surprised look, body still frozen against that cold wall.

"I - I'm.. I'm sorry, Jae." He couldn't look Jaehyun in the eyes. Taeyong was catching his breath with his head down. "Let's just pretend that didn't just happen." The older male started to walk away but as he was about to step outside the door, his hand was grabbed and he was twirled around. Jaehyun caught him by the waist and pulled him closer. 

"Look up." Jaehyun whispered so close to his ear.

Taeyong tilted his head up and saw a ... mistletoe.

" _Hyung_ , do you know what you do under a mistletoe?" Jaehyun asked him with a grin on his face.

Before Taeyong could even open his mouth to utter a word, Jaehyun was already doing what he was supposed to answer. Jaehyun was locking their lips again, and this time with all his might. The younger one's hand was placed securely under his ear, thumb caressing the side of his cheeks, with his other hand around the older's waist. Jaehyun walked back so they were hidden at the corner of the room, and gently pressed Taeyong against the wall. Taeyong could see just their silhouette and shadows from the faint light the Christmas lights were emitting.

" _Hyung_ , how can I pretend you didn't kiss me..." Jaehyun said under his breath, almost mumbling. "... when it was all I wanted to do for the longest time?"

Taeyong's head was spinning. He couldn't think straight. All he could think about at that very moment was to kiss those lips back, and so he did.

Taeyong closed his eyes and returned Jaehyun's kisses. He ran his hands up Jaehyun's arms before wrapping them around the younger's neck, and then he pulled him closer to deepen their kiss. Jaehyun bit his lower lip, before nibbling and licking it. Taeyong knew what he meant. He knew what Jaehyun wanted. Taeyong opened up for him, finally releasing all the suppressed feelings he had all these years into their kiss. Jaehyun reached out for Taeyong's tongue and the older trapped the soft flesh in between his mouth, sucking it sloppily. A tiny moan came out of Jaehyun's mouth with that gesture and Taeyong loved it. It was what Taeyong had imagined, how Jaehyun's kisses would taste like. Sweet yet lustful. Their kiss was hot and lengthy and before they ran out of breath, they pulled away reluctantly. Jaehyun chased Taeyong's lips to leave butterfly kisses a couple, no, three more times. Taeyong raked his fingers through Jaehyun's hair before he cupped the younger one's face in between his hands. Taeyong brushed their lips together then rested their foreheads against each other. 

They snickered, realizing what just happened.

"Since when did you..."

Jaehyun kissed the tip of Taeyong's nose. "I've been in love with you since that day you smiled at me when we first met, Lee Taeyong. You just didn't realize it." Jaehyun whispered but it was music to Taeyong's ears. 

"All the while, I thought I was the only one loving you, Jung Jaehyun." Taeyong poked Jaehyun's nose, the younger one crunching it as the older one's fingers landed its tip. "We better go down now before everyone wonders what's keeping us."

Jaehyun nodded and kissed Taeyong's forehead. "I love you, Lee Taeyong."

"I love you, Jeong Yoonoh." Taeyong replied with all his heart. "Merry Christmas."

" _Hyung_ , it felt like Christmas every day when I'm with you. Merry Christmas."

Jaehyun was right. Maybe he didn't realize it at once but it really did feel like it's Christmas every single day they were together. But right at that moment, Taeyong felt this Christmas would be merrier. He owes that to Jaehyun the snow, and the mistletoe. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you like this one.  
> I needed a bit of Jaeyong today so I had the urge to write. ^^

**Author's Note:**

> This shows how different Taeyong and Jaehyun is from the start. I will show more of this as I go through the chapters. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and appreciating!  
> Kudos and comments are appreciated as well!


End file.
